


Do All My Siblings Hate Me Or Do I Just Need To Sleep? By Five Hargreeves

by Lolapola



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: AUish, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ben is dead for real sorry lads, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, No Sparrow Academy, Number Five has that breakdown we've all been waiting for, Number Five | The Boy Gets A Hug, Post Season 2, The Hargreeves Siblings love each other so jot that down, it's a big one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:20:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26550523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lolapola/pseuds/Lolapola
Summary: The Hargreeves are back in 2019, and attempting to adjust. But as always, since the universe seems to hate them, there's something coming. Something bad. And Number Five, Apocalypse Stopper Extraordinaire, may just be the biggest threat facing them this time.So just what the hell do they do with that?
Relationships: Allison Hargreeves & Everyone, Diego Hargreeves & Everyone, Diego Hargreeves & Herb, Klaus Hargreeves & Everyone, Luther Hargreeves & Everyone, Number Five | The Boy (Umbrella Academy) & Everyone, Vanya Hargreeves & Everyone
Comments: 16
Kudos: 173





	Do All My Siblings Hate Me Or Do I Just Need To Sleep? By Five Hargreeves

**Author's Note:**

> This is set in that nebulous Post Season 2 universe in which they get back from the sixties and there is no Sparrow Academy, but everything else is mostly the same.
> 
> Enjoy!

_THUNK._

Diego whirled around, immediately on guard, knife in hand, and the deserted hallway of the Umbrella Academy looked back at him, deeply unimpressed. 

“Klaus?” he called out cautiously. Nothing. “Mom?”  
As far as he knew, they were the only other two people here. Allison and Vanya were out for the day, Luther was at work, and Five was… Well. Diego had no clue where Five was. He hadn’t seen him for days – none of them had. Any hopes they’d harboured about Five quietly reintegrating with society now that there was no apocalypse imminent were slowly fading away with every passing week. If anything, he’d gotten even stranger. Even more hostile.

Luther had suggested one night, with surprising sensitivity, that maybe Five didn’t know _how_ to live a normal life. Allison had pointed out that being aware of that was only helpful if they could pin him down to have a conversation about it, and nobody had managed that. Not even Vanya.  


Diego had figured the little guy would tire himself out eventually, adjust in his own time. It had been 45 years for him, after all, which probably took some adjusting. And anyway, Diego was pretty sure any attempt that they made to help would be met with derision.  


So leaving him to it had seemed like the best course of action. And that seemed to have led to him disappearing from the house for days at a time – which was why Diego was fairly sure the noise he had just heard wasn’t Five. Besides, the guy was a trained assassin; he didn’t tend to make noises moving around the house unless he wanted to. Mom was much the same, seeing as robots weren’t often programmed to be clumsy, and she also usually hummed as she went about her work. And Klaus – Klaus didn’t often leave his room these days. He didn’t do much of _anything_.  


Diego didn’t know what the fuck to do about Klaus. If you spoke to him, he would convince you he was fine. Just regular eccentric old Klaus. Except a version of regular Klaus who had no interest in doing anything except sleeping and having baths and occasionally eating.  


It was about Ben. Obviously, it was about Ben. Klaus just seemed determined to pretend it wasn’t. Klaus seemed determined that there was no _it_ to begin with. But it was fucking weird – and Diego was aware that weird was relative in their lives, but it was fucking _weird_ – to help someone mourn someone who they all mourned nearly 20 years ago. Plus, when he tried to bring up the issue with the others, Vanya got this horrible guilty look on her face, which Diego hated almost as much as the weird emptiness that Klaus seemed to carry round…  


Diego shook his head to dispel his dark, and frankly unhelpful, thoughts, and made himself focus. His instincts were telling him that something was off about the empty hallway. There was a feeling of something being different – a feeling of being watched.  


He stalked forwards, knives at the ready – and stopped dead.  


_What the hell?_  


Embedded in the wall, where Diego was 100% sure there hadn’t been before, was a glass fronted cupboard. Inside the cupboard was a brass cylinder.  


He spun a full 360, fully prepared to see one of his siblings giggling behind a column, because God knew they didn’t have anything better to do these days than mess with each other. But there was nothing.  


Okay. Okay.  


Diego looked back at the cupboard and licked his lips nervously.  


Okay.  


He reached forward and gently brushed the edge of the cupboard. It sprang open, like it was programmed to be helpful, and Diego’s suspicion increased by 80%.  


Slowly, cautiously, he reached inside the cupboard and prodded the cylinder, yanking his hand back immediately in case it was some kind of trap. Nothing happened, and Diego felt a little silly.  


“It’s only paranoia if I’m wrong,” he muttered to the empty hallway, just in case someone _was_ watching, and reached out again to gingerly pick up the cylinder.  


On the paper pasted over the cylinder was written:  


ATTN: DIEGO  


“What the hell?” said Diego, aloud this time.  


It felt hollow, and he could hear something rattling round inside it, so he pulled and twisted at the ends until one of them came off. A small roll of paper fell into his hand, and Diego unrolled it and held it up to the light. It read:

TO: DIEGO  
YOUR PRESENCE IS POLITELY REQUESTED AT A MEETING WITH  
HERB  
PLEASE COME **ALONE** TO THE BELOW ADDRESS FOR 18:00 HRS  
SIGNED  
THE NEW COMMISSION

Diego scowled at the paper in confusion.  


He’d kind of stayed in contact with Herb – he’d been in and out of the mansion on business with Five a few times, but the official stuff had always stayed strictly between the two of them. His friendship with Diego had nothing to do with the Commission – or the _New_ Commission, as it was now known. Herb and the newly assigned board members were keen to distance themselves from the reign of the Handler. As it turned out, Hazel and Five weren’t the only employees who had deserted their posts over the years, and the name change had been crucial to begin to bring those people back into the fold. They needed as many qualified field agents as they could get now, due to the… _incident_ at the farm.  


Or so Five had told him, because he and Herb didn’t talk about Commission stuff. Ever.  


So what the hell was this about? And also – _alone_? That had trap written all over it. Five would kill him if he went.  


But Five wasn’t here. And call Diego naïve, but he liked Herb. He trusted him.  


Diego glanced at his watch. He had an hour to get to the downtown address written at the bottom of the note.  


He looked back at the wall and scowled even further. The cupboard was gone. Diego made a mental note to ask Five about that particular brand of Commission bullshit next time he saw him.  


“Mom! Klaus! I’m going out!” he yelled, more for the sheer novelty of people in this house caring where the others were than for any actual hope of either of them hearing him.  


After a brief moment of hesitation, he stuck the cylinder in his pocket. No point in stressing Five out further by leaving that lying around.  


He grabbed his jacket and headed for the door. 

* * *

Okay, so cryptic messages and vanishing cupboards bullshit aside, Diego was genuinely happy to see his friend again. He couldn’t hold back a smile when the tall oak doors of what used to be the Handler’s office were whipped open to reveal a beaming Herb.  


“Diego!”  


“Herb, buddy!” Diego grinned and leant forward to complete their little let’s-fuck-shit-up handshake, which he would never admit how much he loved under pain of death.  


Herb stood aside and gestured through the door, still beaming.  


“Come in, come in, Diego, please sit down -”  


Diego walked into the office, looking around and letting out a low whistle when he caught sight of the name plate on the desk.  


“Woah, man, this is all yours now? Herbie, that’s amazing, congratulations!”  


Herb waved him off a little bashfully.  


“Well, you know, someone had to do it, and I guess I was the only shmuck who agreed! Sit down, sit down, help yourself to a mint -”  


Diego sat and Herb took the seat on the other side of the desk, somehow not dwarfed by the tall wing-backed chair. There was actually something about the sight of him regarding Diego across the antique furniture that reminded him a little of Reginald, and Diego tried to shake off the uneasy feeling of being 10 years old and in trouble for some various failure of character or behaviour.  


“It’s good to see you, Diego.”  


“Well, likewise, but Herb, buddy, I gotta ask – what’s with all the – the cloak and dagger shit? The message and the men in black – what, you can’t just come by the house now you’re the big man around here?”  


Diego had entered the address he’d been told – some abandoned storefront he didn’t remember seeing before – at six pm on the dot, and found inside an unsmiling man in a suit holding a briefcase.  


“Diego Hargreeves?” the man had barked, and Diego had barely had time to nod a confirmation before the guy had grabbed him and opened the briefcase. After the by now familiar sickening lurch, Diego had opened his eyes to find himself in the halls of the New Commission. Which, no offense to Herb, looked a hell of a lot like the halls of the Old Commission. But that wasn’t his business.  


Herb suddenly looked a little nervous, looking away and rearranging the items on his desk minutely.  


“Ah. I am, uh, sorry about all that, Diego. It’s just that – this is official New Commission business, you know. Gotta go through the proper channels, do things by the book, you know how it is.”  


Diego narrowed his eyes. He knew exactly how it was, and it was why he’d left the police.  


_Got kicked out,_ said Patch’s voice in his head. Whatever.  


“…besides,” Herb was saying, “We didn’t want to risk… Well. We’ll get to that.”  


Diego liked that even less.  


Herb said nothing for a second, and Diego leant forward.  


“Herb. What’s going on, man? Did you-” Diego leant forward as a thought occurred to him and lowered his voice a little, “- did you find Lila?”  


Herb’s eyes softened and he shook his head regretfully. “Nothing yet, Diego, I’m sorry. We’ll keep looking.”  


Diego sat back, shoving down the spark of disappointment. It didn’t bother him. It didn’t.  


“Well, then, what?” he asked gruffly.  


“It’s…it’s a little complicated.”  


“Well, I know you didn’t get me all the way down here just to tell me you can’t tell me, so how about you just spit it out and we’ll work out the kinks on the way, huh?”  


Herb hesitated, shuffling his papers around a little, before interlacing his fingers and finally meeting Diego’s eyes across the desk.  


“When you and your siblings arrived back in 2019,” he began carefully, “You changed the timeline. Stopping the apocalypse was one thing, sure, but when you came back to the day after it was due to happen, that – locked it in, if you will. Made it permanent. Human civilisation was supposed to end on April 1st, you see. Everything from that moment on is completely uncharted territory. We’ve been scrambling to update our records, but as you can imagine, it’s a lot.”  


Diego nodded guardedly. “So what’s that got to do with me?”  


“It, uh – it doesn’t. Not exactly. It’s just that, um – we’ve been running the numbers, and we’ve checked and double checked, and it seems that -”  


Herb swallowed, then took a deep breath and looked Diego frankly in the eye.  


“We believe that another apocalypse is coming. Soon.”  


Diego slumped back in his seat. “Jesus,” he muttered. “Again? We just -”  


_We just got our lives back,_ he thought.  


“I’m sorry to be the one to tell you,” Herb said, and Diego believed him. He rubbed his hands over his face, suddenly feeling exhausted.  


“It actually explains – well, I thought something was up. Five’s been -”  


“Five’s been what?” Herb asked sharply, and then immediately looked like he regretted it.  


Diego looked up, suddenly on his guard. “Five’s been acting all squirrelly and paranoid again,” he said slowly. “Why? You guys planning to – to neutralise him or something?”  


He glared at Herb, searching his face, waiting for him to make the threat. The Hargreeves siblings still didn’t agree on a lot, but defending one of their own was not one of those things.  


Herb raised his hands placatingly, looking slightly alarmed. “Diego, I swear to you, the New Commission is completely committed to _bettering_ the human race, including preventing any, uh, _unnatural_ extinction events.”  


“I’m not hearing a no,” Diego growled, and Herb winced.  


“It’s – it’s complicated.”  


“Are you a threat to my brother or not, Herb?”  


Herb sighed and took off his glasses, rubbing his eyes. There was a short silence and Diego forced himself to wait it out, knowing that if the New Commission _was_ a threat and he started taking heads too early, Five would chew him out for hours for not gathering enough information beforehand.  


_See, Five, I_ do _listen to your strategy meetings,_ Diego thought mutinously.  


Herb put his glasses back on, looking at Diego carefully again.  


“How _has_ Five been acting recently?” he asked.  


“Like I said, paranoid.” Diego answered suspiciously, “Hiding away from us, muttering to himself, doing his calculations -”  


_Same as always,_ he nearly said, but didn’t, because recently it hadn’t been the same as always. Recently Five’s behaviour had been more like back when he’d first returned to them, when he’d trusted no one but himself and half a store mannequin.  


“Has he – mentioned anything specific to you? Any – any plans, or concerns, or -”  


“Herb,” Diego said, “I like you, man, but you better start giving me some answers before I start throwing things.”  


Herb stared at Diego for a moment, before seeming to come to a decision.  


“It’s Five.”  


_“What’s_ Five?”  


“The apocalypse. As far as we can tell, this time round, Five causes it.”  


There was a long silence. Then Diego shook his head.  


“He can’t. That’s – how -”  


“I’m sorry, Diego. I didn’t want to believe it either, but I rechecked the calculations myself.”  


“Then you’re wrong,” Diego snapped. “Your calculations or the timeline or something – you’ve got it wrong. Five – Five dedicated his entire _life_ to stopping the apocalypse, it’s all he’s thought about for years -”  


“Exactly,” Herb cut in, and Diego looked at him, thrown.  


“What?”  


“I’m afraid you just hit the nail on the head. Five’s obsessed. He can’t stop. I can show you the whys and the wherefores, the exact actions and consequences, but the long and short of it is that until a few weeks ago, there was no apocalypse coming. Not in your lifetimes. But Five is so sure that something _is_ coming that he can’t leave it alone. He’s going to investigate and meddle and provoke so much that _he_ will set in motion the sequence of events that will lead to the apocalypse. A self-fulfilling prophecy, if you will.”  


“I don’t get it,” Diego said hoarsely, but he was thinking of Luther, so desperate to stop Vanya that he locked her in a cell and doomed them all.  


Herb looked at him sympathetically. “I can show you,” he said again, “but exactly _how_ it happens isn’t important. What’s important is stopping it. Which is why I came to you.”  


“Me?”  


“As I’m sure you’re aware, Five would be a… tricky man to terminate. The manpower that would be required to take him down would be huge, not to mention the losses we would probably take in the process. We were also aware that were we to come after him without warning, we would also be facing a number of his family members.”  


Diego smiled a small, vicious smile. Hell yeah, they would.  


“And, to be frank, Five is an asset. He may no longer be working for us, but he’s a useful man to have around. I’d rather not lose that if we can avoid it.”  


“Where’s this going, Herb?”  


“The board and I have discussed it, and we believe you and your siblings have the best chance at talking him down. Failing that, we believe you also have the best chance at – removing the threat. If that’s what it came to.”  


Diego stared.  


“What are you saying?”  


There was a long silence, and then Herb looked him straight in the eye, all traces of kindness and sympathy suddenly and jarringly gone. Suddenly, the man who sat in front of him was every inch the head of the New Commission.  


“Stop your brother, Diego. By whatever means necessary. Or we will.”

* * *

The silence that followed Diego’s announcement was long and horrible. Allison looked around at the four siblings present, all of them avoiding each other’s eyes, and felt her heart sink. The sight reminded her a little of them before the 60s, before the apocalypse – all sharp words and raw nerves and unfathomable distances. Fragile. And, most importantly, missing Five.  


“No way,” Vanya whispered, almost to herself, and Allison felt a wave of reassurance when she spotted Diego reach out and squeeze Vanya’s shoulder wordlessly. They were different now. They’d grown together, not apart. Hadn’t they?  


Klaus stood suddenly, swaying a little, and Allison frowned at the glass of clear liquid in his hand. Klaus swore up and down that he was sober nowadays, and they’d all taken _that_ with a pinch of salt until Diego had pushed a little too hard about it one night and Klaus had snapped something about not being able to find Ben unless he was sober, and then disappeared to his room for a full 24 hours.  


So. Now they took him at his word. The clear liquid in his glass was water, and Allison had to assume that the swaying and the shaking and the vacant stares were either a leftover side effect or a force of habit. Or maybe it was the ghosts.  


“I would just like it noted,” Klaus started, as carefree-sounding as always, “that had _I_ come to you all with this frankly _outlandish_ tale, I would’ve been laughed out of the room. Figuratively speaking.”  


“Well, maybe if you weren’t kinda historically unreliable…” Luther muttered.  


“Luther…” Allison started, but Klaus cut her off.  


“All I’m _saying_ ,” he said, with a glare in Luther’s direction, “is how do we know this is true?”  


All eyes turned to Diego, who shifted uncomfortably. “I saw it myself, you guys. Herb explained the entire thing.” He frowned in remembered consternation. “There was a diagram.”  


“How do we know,” Klaus continued, voice rising, “that Diego is even Diego? This could be some – some voodooey Communion -”  


“Commission,” muttered Diego.  


“- Commission clone bullshit! Or – or he could be brainwashed!”  


“I’m not brainwashed!” Diego snapped. “And since when could the Commission clone people?”  


“They can time travel!”  


“That’s not actually a bad point,” put in Luther.  


“Besides, they wouldn’t want to get rid of Five for no reason, he’s an asset to the Commission, Herb told me-”  


“Oh, well, if _Herb_ told you -”  


“Guys!” yelled Allison, “Stop it! This isn’t helping!”  


Diego and Klaus glared at each other for a minute, and then Klaus sniffed and flopped back onto the couch with as much dignity as he could manage.  


“I think I’ve made my point,” he said sulkily to the ceiling.  


“Diego,” Allison said diplomatically, “what happened to Dad’s monocle?”  


“What?” asked Diego, thrown.  


“Dad’s monocle. What happened to it after he died?”  


“Mom took it. And I took it from her because I knew Luther would be weird about it. And then I threw it into the Hudson.”  


“Okay. See?” Allison said to Klaus, “Not a clone.”  


Klaus waved a hand, indicating that the matter had lost his tenuous attention, and Allison took a deep, calming breath.  


“And he still seems like – like Diego, so I think we can rule out brainwashing. So now -”  


Allison stopped. Now what?  


“What are you suggesting, Diego?” Vanya’s quiet voice broke the silence. “What was the Commission suggesting? That we -” She lowered her voice as if she was forcing herself to say it aloud, “- that we _kill_ him?”  


Allison’s heart leapt into her throat as she realised what they were actually discussing here, and Diego shook his head vehemently.  


“No!” he said, and then winced. “Not – not exactly – not if we can help it – but -”  


“’If we can help it?’” Vanya echoed in disbelief. “Are you hearing yourself?”  


Diego clenched his jaw and looked away, and Vanya reared back a little, her face clouding over.  


“Oh my god,” she said, her voice still quiet but with a note of steel that set off alarm bells in Allison’s head, “I can’t believe - you’re actually considering this.”  


“Vanya,” said Diego, and the anguish in his voice was audible, “It’s the entire _world_ -”  


“Was this how easy it was when – when it was me?” she demanded. “You just went, ‘Well, shame Vanya’s crazy, let’s kill her now and get it over with’?”  


“ _No,_ ” Allison cried, “Vanya, no, you _know_ it wasn’t like that, please can we just -”  


“Vanya, we have to consider all the variables,” said Luther quietly, and Vanya rounded on him.  


“Are you serious? Five’s not a – a _variable_ , he’s our brother, we can’t just put him down when things get inconvenient! None of us know what his life has been like. We have to _help_ him, not -”  


She swallowed suddenly, her eyes flicking to Klaus. “Not treat him like a bomb before he’s gone off,” she finished a little quieter, and then lifted her chin defiantly. “And if Ben were here, he’d say the same thing.”  


The glass in Klaus’s hand shattered. He didn’t seem to notice, still staring vacantly at the ceiling, and for a moment nobody spoke.  


“It’s what Five would do.”  


All eyes turned to Diego. He didn’t meet their gazes, choosing instead to stare at the floor as if to pretend he wasn’t even speaking.  


“If he was in our places,” he continued quietly, “He’d do it. If it’s what w – w -”  


Diego clamped his mouth shut, mortified, and sat down abruptly. There was a moment of tense silence, during which Allison felt a rush of guilty gratitude that her brother’s stoic vigilante façade was still so vulnerable to his emotions. Perhaps if Five had such a visible physical tell they wouldn’t be in this mess.  


“You think so?” Vanya demanded suddenly, “Because I seem to remember that Five went directly against what the Commission told him was best for the world _specifically_ to save our lives.”  


“Well, what the Commission wanted was for the apocalypse to happen, Vanya, he probably had some other motivations to stop that -” Luther began uneasily.  


“ _And_ ,” Vanya continued over him, “he took me with you guys when you went back, even though if he _really_ wanted to stop the apocalypse, _all he would’ve had to do was leave me behind_.”  


Silence fell again. Allison glanced at Diego to see if he was going to respond to that, but his confidence seemed to have been shattered by his slip up and he stayed quiet, still scowling at the ground.  


“Allison?”

Allison turned, startled. Vanya was looking at her now, eyes pleading, and a quick glance at her other siblings told her why. Klaus was still reclining on the couch amongst the broken glass, looking for all the world as if he couldn’t give a shit what the outcome of this conversation was. Someone who didn’t know him as well as she did would probably miss the tension in his face and the unnatural stillness in his body, like a deer braced to run, as he clutched onto the dog tags round his neck like a rosary. And Luther – Luther was looking round at them all with wide eyes, as terrified of making decisions about his siblings as he had been ever since his role in the first apocalypse. 

And there was the issue. With Luther and Diego in crisis, and none of the rest of them ever having any aspirations of leadership, who was left? 

The fact was, they’d all got a little too used to Five being in charge. Five knowing what do, and issuing the orders, and having a plan. Five knowing and understanding the threat, whatever it was, better than any of them.

So what the hell did they do now, when it was Five who was the threat? 

Allison sighed. What the hell was she supposed to say? What was she supposed to _think_? She wasn’t any more impartial than the rest of them. And Vanya’s gentle nature and desperate pleas for support were one thing, but Allison hadn’t forgotten the scene at the farm with Sissy and Harlan. Vanya fought for the ones she loved. Viciously. If it came down to it, would they stand a chance against her and Five, two of her most powerful siblings? Did she even want to stand against them?

Allison only had to think it through for a second before she had her answer. Apocalypse or no, she wasn’t going to hurt any of her family if she could help it.

“Let’s at least talk to him first,” she said, and Vanya’s face crumpled in gratitude. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Klaus relax minutely, closing his eyes in relief or regret, she couldn’t tell. 

“Exactly,” Vanya said, “We don’t even know where he is or what he’s doing – maybe as soon as we tell him what we know he’ll stop – whatever it is, and it’ll be over.”

Allison forced herself to smile at Vanya. When had their lives ever been that easy?

* * *

In the end, they only had to wait a few hours for Five to reappear in the mansion, but it was a few hours that Allison would pay to never have to live through again. It was mostly silence, punctuated with pacing and fidgeting and Diego throwing his knives at the wall and Klaus veering worryingly close to the bar every now and then before seeming to change his mind and stroll in a very casual circle round the room. That, coupled with Vanya sitting very, very still and sometimes doing what sounded suspiciously like breathing exercises, meant that Allison’s nerves were completely frayed by the time they heard the familiar muffled bang of their brother jumping into the hallway.  


Five stalked into the room, took one look at all of them clustered awkwardly together and staring directly at him, and turned on his heel to walk straight back out.  


“Shit,” muttered Diego, and Vanya hurried forward, calling after him.  


“Five! Five – wait, we need to talk to you -!”  


“I don’t have time for whatever this is,” Five answered over his shoulder, already halfway out the room.  


“Five – please – it’s _important_ -”  
Vanya caught up to him and grabbed his arm, and Five stopped dead.  


Everyone tensed. Allison wasn’t sure why. This was _Five_. He would never really hurt any of them, especially not Vanya. They sure as hell weren’t scared of him. 

But there was something – something in the line of his shoulders, something in the air that had arrived with him that felt – dangerous. Unfamiliar. 

Out of the corner of her eye, Allison saw Diego take a small step forward, hand hovering by one of his knives, and she shot him a pleading look. She knew enough about her family to know how quickly this could go south. And for God's sake, Vanya could look after herself. 

_Maybe it’s Five he’s worried about._

Diego caught her look and relented, his posture relaxing minutely, but his hand stayed where it was. Allison guessed that would have to do. 

Vanya had dropped Five’s arm, but neither of them had moved any further.  


“Please,” she said again, softer now, “We just – we just want to talk to you. Just for a few minutes.”  


For a moment Five didn’t move a muscle. Then he spun round again without looking at Vanya.  


“Fine,” he snapped, and marched to the centre of the room. He turned to face them, glaring round at them like always, but there was something – something off, now Allison knew to look for it. His entire frame was singing with tension, hands clenched by his sides, and his usual I’m-waiting-for-you-to-disappoint-me expression looked forced, somehow. It wasn’t making it to his eyes – they were wild, dancing around the room like a cornered animal.  


It reminded her of Klaus, when they were younger.  


She pushed that thought away.  


“Well?” he snapped again, when none of them spoke. “What inane bullshit is so important that you _need_ me to stand here and listen to you?”  


Allison thought two things.  


One was that they definitely should’ve planned who was going to do the talking and what they were going to say. Any planning would’ve been good, really.  


The second thought was, _How the hell did we miss this?_  


This wasn’t Five. He always seemed on edge, but this was something else. And he could be cruel, sure, but not as much as when he first returned, and never like this. This was – it was almost –  


“You sound like Dad,” Klaus said, in a voice that Allison was pretty sure was meant to be mocking but came out small and sad.  


Five’s eyes almost bulged out of his head, and he opened his mouth to respond with God only knew what but it definitely wasn’t going to be pretty –  


Then Diego stepped forward, and Five’s laser-beam focus landed on him.  


“Five, buddy,” Diego said, in a pacifying tone, “Listen. We’re not - we’re not trying to piss you off, okay? Like Vanya said, we just wanna talk to you. We’re, uh, we’re kind of – worried about you, man.”  


For once, Five seemed at a loss for words.  


“You’re – are you – are you _fucking kidding me?_ ” he spluttered finally. “You’re _worried?_ That’s why you dragged me in here?”  


“I – yeah,” Diego replied, a little defensively. “You’ve been acting weird – you disappear for days, and when you’re here you’re…”  


He trailed off, clearly at a loss as to how to describe Five’s current state with pissing him off further, and Allison decided to try and help him out.  


“When did you last eat? Like, an actual meal? God, Five,” - she drew in a shaky breath, guilt and fear suddenly hitting her in waves because _how did they miss this_ \- “When did you last _sleep?_ ”  
“I don’t. Have Time. For a _slumber party_ , Allison,” Five ground out, “I have actual work to do, I have a responsibility, I know that’s difficult for you to wrap your tiny minds around -”  


Allison clenched her jaw, glancing sideways at the others and feeling a flare of pride when she saw no one else react. That particular deflection tactic, that attempt to push them away and make them more irritated than they were concerned, may have worked in the beginning, but it didn’t now. Now, Vanya stepped forward, trying for a hopeful smile.  


“Can we help?” she asked. “That’s what we do now, remember? We help each other.”  


Her tone was gentle, like she was talking to a frightened and confused child, and Allison half expected Five to flip out at that alone. One glance at him told her he hadn’t noticed or cared.  


“Nobody can help me,” he spat, eyes wild. “None of you would understand.”  


“Well, we can’t if you won’t let us try,” Luther broke in unexpectedly. “And maybe you need help, Five, we’ve never seen you like – like _this_ -”  


“ _BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S COMING!_ ” Five exploded. “Something is happening, or is going to happen, something bad, and I can’t figure it out! Okay? That’s why I can’t stop. That’s why I don’t have time for this – _goddamn – conversation!_ ”  


There was a deafening silence, filled only with Five’s ragged breathing. Then Diego swallowed and tried again.  


“You think – this thing that’s coming – you think maybe another apocalypse, right?”  


Five’s head snapped up, and he went very, very still. Diego, in a move reserved for the very brave or the very stupid, continued.  


“You think – it’s maybe something to do with the UN, right?” he coaxed.  


For a long moment, Five said nothing. Then –  


“Who have you been talking to?” he asked, low and dangerous, and Allison fought the urge to step back.  


“Five -”  


“ _Who the fuck have you been talking to?_ ”  


“Five, just listen -”  


“Was it the Commission?” he snarled. “It was, wasn’t it? They’ve taken you in. Have they got all of you? Are you -” His voice cracked in his first sign of real panic, and he looked desperately round at all of them, searching for something that he clearly wasn’t finding in their faces, “- are you working for them now?”  


“Five, no one’s working for the Commission -” Allison started, alarmed.  


“ _Don’t lie to me!_ ”  


“Alright!” Diego spoke up desperately. “Alright, I spoke to Herb, okay? That’s all.”  


“So you admit it!” Five cried triumphantly.  


“No – Five – that’s not what I’m saying -”  


“Is there something going on? Is that what he told you?”  


“No, there isn’t, that’s the _point_ -” Diego growled in frustration, but Five cut him off again.  


“They’re going to try and stop me again, aren’t they?” Five’s gaze flicked around the room as if he was expecting an army of agents to spring from the shadows and gun him down, and Allison’s heart hurt at the blatant paranoia in his eyes. “They – they sent you to stop me finding out what’s going on -”  


“Five, for the love of God, nothing is going on -”  


“ _STOP LYING TO ME!_ ” Five screamed, and Allison felt a jolt of déjà vu.  


“Please, Five, we’re not lying to you.” Vanya’s voice was steady, but out of the corner of her eye Allison could see the tears streaming down her face. “Please believe us.”  


“She’s telling the truth, Five,” Luther added. “You know us, please -”  


Diego echoed him, and Allison joined in, and suddenly the siblings were talking all at once, clamouring over each other in their desperation. Five’s gaze darted over all of them, skipping from face to face, his panic rising with theirs.  


“Stop it!” he yelled suddenly. “Stop – just -”  


He took a couple of stumbling steps back, running a shaking hand through his hair.  


“I just need to – need to think -”  


He broke off, muttering to himself in a voice too low to hear. Beside her, Diego let out a heavy sigh, and then spoke again, gentler this time.  


“It’s you, Five. That’s what Herb told me. _You_ cause the apocalypse.”  


For a second, Five didn’t answer, and Allison held her breath. _Maybe we’ve got through to him_ , she thought. _Maybe he_ -  


“Is that what he told you to say?” Five said, in a voice so raw it hurt to hear.  


“What – no -”  


“And you _believed_ him?” he sneered, almost sounding like his old self, but it wasn’t quite convincing enough. The condescension and the smug, joyless smile were like a mask that didn’t fit.  


He shook his head at Diego’s stunned silence, half turning away again, already cutting them out.  


“I need to act fast. When they know you failed, they’ll come after me – I need to get away – but -”  


“Five, just _listen_ -” Allison tried again, and without warning, Five whirled back around, his face twisted with fury and fear.  


“ _STOP – TELLING – ME – TO LISTEN!_ ”  


“Five -”  


“I DON’T NEED YOU! I DON’T NEED ANY OF YOU!”  


His fists were clenched by his sides, and to Allison’s horror she realised he was almost _flickering_ , like his body was trying to jump away and Five was barely clinging on, his power glitching in a way she had never seen before. Five had always seemed in control of his powers, always confident, always ahead of the rest of them, as long as she could remember –  


Allison realised, with sudden and horrifying clarity, that who he reminded her of was Vanya. Vanya, all those years ago in Leonard’s cabin, livid and vicious and wildly, hopelessly out of control.  


“ _IF I CAN’T TRUST YOU,_ FINE!” Five was screaming, and just like with Vanya, Allison felt a wave of despair as she realised she had no idea what to do. “ _I DID THIS ALONE FOR FORTY-FIVE YEARS! I CAN DO IT AGAIN!_ ”  


“Allison…” Luther murmured by her side, and Allison shook her head without looking at him, her tears spilling over her cheeks. Rumouring him wasn’t the answer. She couldn’t do it. She wouldn’t.  


Vanya was talking again, trying to raise her voice over Five’s, but Allison still couldn’t hear what she was saying. A litany of pleas and reassurances, probably, that they all knew by now Five wouldn’t hear or believe. He was still ranting, his body still flickering, and Allison didn’t know what to do.  


On her other side, Luther was hunching in on himself, and Diego was staring in horror, lost for words.  


And then Klaus stepped forward.  


Klaus, who’d barely said a word since Five had walked in the room. Klaus, who Allison had all but forgotten was there.  


Klaus walked past the rest of them and towards Five without a glimmer of hesitation.  


Ordinarily, Allison would trust all of her siblings with her life. They had their fights, but when the chips were down, there was no one else she would want watching her back.  


But as Klaus walked over to Five, Allison felt a sudden sting of terror. Five would kill and die for any of them, she knew that. But he was also a trained assassin, one that currently seemed to be in the middle of some kind of breakdown. Any other day, she would trust Five with her life and with Klaus’s, but right now?  


“No, Klaus, don’t -!” she cried, and she heard the others’ voices alongside her own. She saw Diego jerk forward, try to stop him, but he was too slow, they all were –  


Klaus reached him, and wrapped his arms around Five’s small body, pulling him into a hug.  


Everything stopped.  


Even Five went completely still, and Allison watched, her heart in her mouth, not daring to move. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see her siblings doing the same.  


The silence stretched on for what felt like minutes. All Allison could hear was the rushing of blood in her ears.  


Then Five jerked, violently. She heard Vanya’s strangled gasp, saw Diego fumble for one of his knives, Luther make an aborted movement forward –  


Five jerked again, harder this time, and Allison could see his arms moving up to do _something_ –  


Five shoved at Klaus, hard, and Allison relaxed fractionally.  


“Get _OFF_ me -” he yelled, slightly muffled, and shoved again, but Klaus clung on.  


“What the hell is he _doing?_ ” Diego muttered. Allison shook her head, nonplussed.  


“Get off!” Five bellowed again, shoving harder at Klaus, punching his arms and his chest and anywhere he could reach. Klaus simply tucked his head in, tightened his grip, and held on.  


“Should we…do something?” Luther asked, sounding completely lost. None of them answered or moved, continuing to watch Five try to pummel Klaus from inside his embrace. 

And then, to Allison’s horror, they blinked away.  


“Klaus!” screamed Allison, and again she heard her siblings’ voices alongside her own. For a moment, nothing happened – then, with a flash of blue light, the tussling, struggling form of Klaus-and-Five appeared on the balcony above their heads.  


“ _GET OFF ME – I HATE YOU -_ ” Five was screaming, Klaus still clinging on with grim determination, and the others could only watch in horror as they blinked away again.  


When they reappeared on the opposite balcony, the words had merged into one long incoherent scream of rage. And still Klaus held him. Five jumped again –  


\- appearing this time on the other side of the room for only a second before they disappeared again –  


\- and appeared back up on the balcony –  


\- this time Five jumped to the bar, sending bottles and glasses flying, and Allison flinched at the loud noise and the flying glass –  


\- back up on the balcony and then –  


Allison felt her heart stop as she looked up and saw Five had jumped them to the top of the room, and they were falling, still tangled in an embrace. She heard Vanya scream from somewhere beside her, raising her arms to try and control their fall, Diego yell, his voice hoarse – Luther running forward, trying to catch them –  


Then they jumped away again, out of sight. The four of them stood in a huddle, frozen, listening to bangs and crashes and Five’s wordless yelling echo throughout the house from different rooms.  


Then, without warning, they reappeared in the centre of the room. Five stopped fighting; he stood, still wrapped in Klaus’s arms, fists hanging by his sides, panting like an exhausted horse.  


In the sudden silence, Allison realised she could hear Klaus talking.  


“It’s okay, buddy,” he was saying in a low voice, “We’ve got you. We’re not going anywhere.”  


Five sucked in a breath that sounded suspiciously like a sob.  


For a moment, they all stood in stunned silence, listening to Five’s laboured breathing and Klaus’s gentle, constant murmuring.  


Vanya was the first to recover. Hesitating only a little more than Klaus had, she walked forward and wrapped her arms gently round Five and Klaus. Klaus gave her a small, tired smile, and she hesitated again before saying in a voice that matched Klaus’s,  


“He’s right, Five. You’re safe with us. You don’t have to do this any more.”  


Five’s knees gave out, and he crumpled to the floor, Klaus and Vanya going with him easily.  


And to Allison’s complete shock, they were joined there by Diego. He settled himself on the floor next to them, wrapping his arms round all three of them and enduring a gentle peck on the cheek from Klaus.  


“Okay, old man,” he said, a little gruffly. “We hear you, okay? You don’t have to do this alone any more. But you gotta hear us, too. You’ve got to let this go.”  


Well. Allison was not about to be outdone by Diego.  


She sat down beside Vanya and worked her way into the huddle, ignoring Diego’s grumblings, making sure she was at least partially holding Five.  


“We’ve got you,” she echoed Klaus, “It’s gonna be okay.”  


This close, she could hear Five’s shuddering breathing, could see the way he’d tucked his face into Vanya’s shoulder, and figured this was probably the most needed cry anyone had ever had.  


She smiled a little as she felt a pair of huge arms carefully encircle all of them.  


“I’m sorry we haven’t been there, Five,” Luther said. “But Diego’s right. You’re not in the apocalypse anymore. You saved us twice. That’s enough.”  


“You’ve done enough, Five,” Vanya agreed, and Five let out a long, shaky sigh.  


“I think you might have been right, Klaus,” he said, in a smaller voice than Allison had ever heard on him. “I think maybe I am an addict.”  


Diego snorted, and Klaus hummed dreamily. Allison snuck a glance at him, and he had his eyes closed, his head tucked between Diego’s and Five’s, looking more at peace than she had seen him in months.  


“That’s okay, grandpa,” he murmured, “All the best people in this house are addicts.”  


There was a pause.  


“Asshole,” Five muttered, and Vanya made a noise that sounded like a hastily supressed giggle. Luther sighed deeply above them.  


Allison didn’t know how long they sat there, clinging onto each other like children in a storm, but it wasn’t long before Five’s breaths began to deepen and even out, and she felt a wave of relief on his behalf.  


“Do we gotta stay here till this guy catches up on fifty years of sleep, or what?” Diego muttered, and was shushed furiously by Vanya.  


Eventually, with Luther supporting his weight, they managed to manoeuvre Five round until he was lying with his head on Vanya’s lap and covered with a throw, with the others still clustered around him. By wordless agreement, they divided up couch cushions and throw pillows between them. None of them had any desire to sleep elsewhere that night.  


Before she lay down, Allison made sure to squeeze Klaus’s hand to get his attention.  


“Hey,” she whispered, “You did good today.”  


Klaus rolled his eyes at her and gestured as if to say _of course_ , and she hesitated, before adding, “Ben would’ve been proud of you, you know?”  


Klaus’s smile turned a little glassy, and he swallowed convulsively, looking away – but he squeezed her hand in return and nodded a little as well, so she counted that as a win.  


As she lay down to sleep, she caught Diego’s eye. He was sitting up slightly against an armchair, watching all of them. She remembered, with a sudden cold fear, the conversation that had started all of this – the danger that Five was suddenly posing to all of them. To the entire world.  


She flicked her gaze at Five’s sleeping form, raising her eyebrows in a silent question, and Diego shrugged, looking exhausted. She smiled a little, trying to reassure him, and settled down next to Five.  


God, he looked so young when he was asleep. She did her best not to think of a thirteen year old child lost in a post-apocalyptic landscape, but sometimes it was all she could think about. In her worst nightmares, the image of little Number Five stumbling through the ruins merged with an image of Claire. Looking at him now, thinking about that – Allison would stand between him and an entire army of Commission goons, whether he was causing the end of the world or not. 

Whatever happened tomorrow, she thought as she drifted off, they’d done right by their family. She realised, with a feeling of vague surprise, that was all that seemed to matter. 

* * *

Diego watched his family sleep and shuffled around a little, trying to get comfortable. He wasn’t an idiot. He knew his family could protect themselves. But after all of that, something deep in his instincts rankled at the idea of leaving them completely defenceless while they slept, especially with Five so vulnerable. They’d promised, hadn’t they? All of them. They’d all sworn that Five could trust them, that they could look after him the way he looked after them. So he’d stay awake. It felt like the least he could do.  


It wasn’t long after the house had gone quiet that he heard it.  


_THUNK._  


Diego felt a glimmer of adrenaline, and he stood as quietly as possible, looking over to where he’d heard the noise.  


Sure enough – a cupboard in the bookcase, where there hadn’t been one before.  


He swallowed hard, and glanced back at his sleeping siblings, feeling his resolve harden. Whatever happened, he was with them.  


He crossed the room and opened the cupboard, pulling out a brass cylinder with his name on it, same as before.  


On the note inside, however, there were no formalities and official details like last time. Now, there was only a single line, followed by a signature.

  
Good job.  
\- Herb 

**Author's Note:**

> Did I just try to solve all of their problems with The Power Of Love(TM)? Yes, but in my defence, the show did it first.
> 
> Also, sorry to do Herb dirty like that, but I needed someone to lay down the law. Also, their job does involve a lot of murder, and last we saw he was going for the literal head of that company, so I have a headcanon that there's a lot more to him than meets the eye.... can I get Unlikely Villains for 5,000 Alex
> 
> And as a final note: probably don't try to forcibly hug someone out of their breakdown. In the wonderful world of fiction, we can say that works, but I don't believe it would irl. These are some wacky folks and wacky problems require wacky solutions.
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed!


End file.
